Dear Dad,
‘If’ is such a small word, but why does it mean so much ?
If only I knew that today a year ago was the last time we’d meet. Would I have dressed up a bit more?
If only I knew that today a year ago was the last time we’d talk. I always bombarded you questions, did I really know everything about you?
If only I knew that today a year ago was the last time I would make dinner for you. Did the pronta hit the spot!
If only I knew that today a year ago was the last time we’d take our last selfie together. Should I have acted more ‘grown up’ and not made silly faces 😜?
I came to sit with the children while you and Kawal went to the hospital for your final appointment before your ‘life changing’ operation a few days later. Little did we know ‘ life changing’ for you, for us and anyone that knew you!
You left at 1 and came back at just after 7 that evening. You looked tired but you definitely came back with a spring in your step, excited even. I hugged you and could smell your favourite aftershave Joop. I remember telling you that you looked smart and how nice you smelt. I was teasing you about your nurses. You just said, ‘oh darling’.
Mum had cooked our dinner before her shift at work, the children all asked for pronates and you jumped on this opportunity too. You all sat down while I made hot fresh prontas to accompany your dinner.
Dad, you asked me to put ajwain (carom seeds) in yours! I was like don’t ruin my prontas.
‘Just try one, and you’ll love it’ is what you said to me. I rolled out the dough, spread the slightest of butter and sprinkled ajwain. Kawal comes along takes a look and said that’s not enough, so I sprinkle some more and more and more, until you couldn’t see the dough nor the butter!
You loved it! And another thing you are known for, is putting extra food on other people’s plate( you say it’s about being a good host; this is one of your most famous traits, a skill you’ve mastered. You would always be able to give the person sitting next you another samosa or roti, ‘go on, one more’ you’d say, that poor person after eating their meal can hardly stand up straight from the ‘one more’ but you’d get away being stuffed yourself! ) All the children were given a bit of your pronta to try! And no, they didn’t like it. When I came back to join you at the dinner table, without a doubt on my plate was a piece of your ajwain pronta too.
And no, I didn’t like it either ! You then gave me another piece to try saying this bit will taste better, and I still didn’t like it. I told you that if we keep trying different mouthfuls of your pronta it’ll be finished!
Afterwards we all ate the remainder of Niam’s birthday cake which I bought with me. You even fed him his cake which nobody else was able to do!
Later that evening the fun and games began!
Do you remember the game Vinay wanted us to play? It was a simple straightforward game ! What could go wrong ? He asked us to draw something that flies, and then to make paper aeroplanes and see whose goes the furthest.
Simple enough that even Niam was able to join in!
You, Kawal, the kids and me were busy drawing, to be honest I actually can’t remember what any of us drew except Kawal’s ‘butterfly’. Well we both know it didn’t look like a butterfly to start with.
Dad, I was literally screaming and shouting WT…. are you drawing? You very casually looked up, saw her drawing, kept your cool and calm composure and said nothing! Dad you’re sitting at the head of the table, Kawal and I either side of you. I am still shouting ‘change it change it’. Kawal tries only to make things worse. She’s shouting back at me ‘leave my butterfly alone’.
Let’s put it another way you’d think she was drawing a particular part of a man! She then drew what resembled ’tadpoles’ shooting out! She claims it was flames! 🙄
We then made our aeroplanes stood in a line and threw them as hard and as fast as we could.
On the way home Jay said to me ‘mummy, I don’t know what Kawal Masi was thinking, but I DO KNOW WHAT SHE WAS THINKING!’
If only we kept your last drawing, your last paper plane. I know Kawal searched everywhere, behind the radiator, in Vinay’s box of his paper planes. Just like that it’s gone!
If……
Miss these days, miss you Dad
X
Cherish your memories! Write them down so you never forget and you can pass these stories on!