Our Dad was born in 1949 in East Africa, Nairobi. He is the eldest child and grandchild in the Sagoo family. We know that dad attended Eastleigh Primary school on JuJa Road. Nairobi
Our Dhada and Dhadi along with their 4 children travelled to and fro from India in search for a better life.
In 1964, our Dhada got a visa for England and they decided to make the long trip and settled in Charlton. This is where dad attended Charlton Secondary School and enjoyed badminton and table tennis.
In 1968, Dad got a part time job working in a carpentry factory where they made windows and door frames. Dad also studied at Eltham College, that same year the family moved to Eastham, and Dad soon got his 1stproper job working as a BT Engineer.
1976, Mum and Dad got married. Fast forward a few years, his 4 daughters are born, 4 weddings, 4 new sons and the a proud grandfather to 5 grandchildren. As our family grew and so did Dad’s humble smile, he never boasted about his achievements nor ours. Over the last few weeks, we have learnt of how many people Dad has helped either in business or personally.
What is it like to be a daughter of Surinder Sagoo?
From a very young age, as soon as we learnt to speak, Dad taught us the Shabad ‘Taati wao na laggai’. Dad, you said that if you recite this paart, whenever you are worried, scared or in pain, this shabad will take it away from you. Like my sisters, I can truly say that this paart has helped us over the last couple of weeks and no doubt in the future too.
Speaking to our Puji’s, this paart has bought back memories for them too, we have learnt that our Dhadi explained the same significant of this part to all of them, in the same way dad explained it to us.
Standing at the end of the bed, just before bedtime, Dad would breakdown each sentence and explain each word to us.
One of the sentences is:
Chaugird Hamaray Ram Kar Dukh Lagay Na Bhaee,
This translates to:
‘On all four sides I am surrounded by the lords circle of protection, pain does not afflict me’.
Dad, all four sides of you will always be protected by us, your 4 daughters, we are Mum’s circle of protection and pray and hope that no pain comes to you both.
Dad always had 2 answers!
No.1 Go and ask your mum
No. 2 Go and ask your mum
This is because dad could never say NO to us, if he said Yes, it would normally be followed by go and ask your mum who undoubtedly would then just say NO!
Dad made sure that even though we were girls, he would not allow stigma to get the better of us. Instead, he embraced what he had and pushed boundaries (within reason) that most people frowned upon.
We grew up in the garage, dad allowed us to roam around his shop freely and we did just that, calling ourselves the ‘Bosses daughters’. We were only 4 and 6 when we got our first job at the garage, and that was Mum asking us to go downstairs to the shop and ask dad and his employees if they wanted tea or coffee.
We soon got taught how to grease ball bearings, and before you know it, we had our own overalls, a workstation including a vice and we were dismantling alternators and stater motors. Dad had so much trust in us that we even got to spray paint the end product which later got sold in the shop.
We know dad got a lot of stick from his customers, having his daughters in overalls and covered in grease, but dad didn’t care; his open mindedness is a credit to him and the infamous Sagoo trait of being stubborn paid off well.
At home, dad was no different, he taught us how to swim, ride a bike, but also he got us involved and taught us DIY jobs around the house including how to paint, wallpaper, tiling, getting up on the roof to fix a leak with tar. Dad also taught us roly pollies in the front living room and taught us how to punch!
In the kitchen, mum made all the traditional foods, but dad liked to experiment, from making chicken with carrots and wine, to cracking eggs on pizza bases and that was before we knew what a Florentine Pizza was.
Dad would always help us clear after dinner, even after a hard day at work, he would say ‘you went to school too’.
If dad saw one of us washing up, Dad would instantly takeover, saying that the quicker we ‘get the job done’ we can all sit and relax. This would mean that we would either be watching TV as a family, playing board and card games.
As much as we spoilt dad, he spoilt us back.
Even to this day, dad has never asked for a cup of tea, instead he would go and put the kettle on and ask if you want one too. Whenever we stayed over, dad would have egg on toast ready, dads’ egg on toast is the best!
Mum and dad took us to amazing places, most of our school friends were jealous of, from amazing day trips to our exotic holidays. Our toys came from around the world, we only now realise how privileged we were, we thought that was the norm.
What we did see and know, was that both mum and dad worked hard to give us all that they could. Dad worked long hours and Mum worked day and night shifts. Some-how they still managed to balance work and family time.
We saw the good times and the bad times but one thing they taught us was how to adapt, appreciate and make the best out of it.
As you can see, we come in all shapes and sizes, and our individual relationship with our dad is no different.
Kawal: Being the first born, she thinks she is dad’s favourite, like our dad, Kawal has a flare for business. Kawal is often referred to as Dad’s PA, she would always be running errands on behalf of dad, sorting out his computer or the internet at work. Dad loved eBay, and between them they would sit and look for car-parts, or Kawal would be telling Dad how much profit she had made from EBaying tiffins or ‘free tube maps. Dad always found this mesmerising.
Suman: Being the youngest, she thinks she is dad’s favourite too. He loves Suman for her lateral thinking. Dad knows Suman will give him the answer he is looking for. Suman made sure that dad followed his diet correctly and always had a new way of making food interesting. Suman made sure dad got his daily steps in and you would find both of them walking around the house just so dad reached his target.
Bubbly: As she would say ‘I am the 3rd child’ she thinks she is dad’s favourite too. Dad and bubbly had a good understanding, as you know dad was a man of few words, which suited Bubbly as she would talk and Dad would listen.
Bubbly and Dad, along with Sunny and mum spent a lot of time together, especially when they visited Singapore. Sunny and Mum would be cooking while dad and bubbly would be relaxing. Between them they have so many stories about their shopping trips, picnics on the beaches and having short breaks at neighbouring countries like Malaysia and Indonesia.
Me: I am clearly dad’s favourite. I spoke to our Dad every-day. 10am was his wakeup call from me, if I hadn’t called Dad, dad would always call me. We would then speak in the evening to discuss our day. Our relationship like my sisters was special. Dad knew that he would just have to mention something to me, and by the following day, it would be delivered to him via Amazon prime. He loved and hated this at the same time. We discussed things that daughters and their dads wouldn’t normally talk about. If I started talking on the dinner table, dad would stop, look at me, one of my sisters would be saying ‘oh no!’, Jason would be holding his breath and dad very slowly would be shaking his head at me. But I know deep down dad loves my ‘say it from the heart’ approach to life. Yes! it sometimes gets me into trouble, but dad knew this was me.
So, Dad, as you know I am always asking you a question. Some you answered, some you couldn’t believe I asked you.
My question to you today is, Did you know?
On Monday, January 6th this year, you called me. You said its mum’s birthday next week and you would like to do something extra special.
I said, ‘Dad it’s mums special birthday next year and we were thinking of having a party’. You replied, ‘this year I will pay and next year you can pay’.
So, dad, did you know?
We promise to you to have the party for mum and for you too, because we know you’ll be there with us.
Mum and Dad have had an amazing marriage. They enjoyed going on date nights, cinemas, restaurants and seeing friends, the problem was they sometimes forgot to tell us when they went out, and we would often be worried that they are not home and it’s passed 9pm.
They soon got in the habit of using WhatsApp and telling us where they were.
Dad was always particular with what mum wore, and gave his opinion on her clothes, this including making sure mums nails were always manicured with a bright colour and lipstick to match. Dad loved his shirts! And often you would see they were coordinated.
Dad, we promise to make sure mum’s clothes, nails and make-up is how you have always liked it. Bright and bold.
Mum, you have to continue to live for us now, we want you to dress like you always have, just because dad himself isn’t here, he’ll be watching over you to make sure that you are dressed up, have your nails painted and that you continue to stand proud, because now you are standing for him too with his presence beside you.
Thank you for being the dad you are, individually, we can all say how you have an incredible relationship with our husbands. Your grandchildren totally adore you.
Your love, your patience, your understanding, your wisdom and your amazing sense of humour will live on inside us forever. You have given us gifts that are more precious than anything in this world.
You will always live on our hearts.